By Ron Sandison
My tone ‘on social media’ ranges from humorous to severe, to indignant to goofy, however what stays the identical is my ardour to get my message throughout and dedication to understanding extra about autistic folks.
Paige Layle
I loved interviewing writer Paige Layle and was refreshed by her honesty, humor, and autistic tales. In March 2020, Paige started sharing on social media her challenges with ADHD and autism. She shortly attracted 2.7M TikTok and 156k Instagram followers and 177K subscribers on YouTube. 4 years later she celebrating the discharge of her first ebook However Everybody Feels This Means: How an Autism Analysis Saved My Life. Paige’s perception gives readability and allows us perceive the challenges autistic feminine’s expertise.
1. What was your childhood like rising up in Kawartha Lakes, Canada?
Not gonna lie, it was lonely lots of the time. I used to be alone typically. It took a motorcycle journey to get to the subsequent home down the street, and none of them wherever close to my home had children my age. It was nice to have a little bit brother to hang around with, however he would hang around with our father exterior loads as we bought older, and can be house much less and fewer as he made extra buddies and had extra enjoyable alternatives with them. It was nice to have some property to have the ability to journey in and work together with, and having a canine and a cat rising up.
2. As a baby what have been a few of your enthusiasms and passions?
I’ve all the time had an affinity for youngsters and animals. I’m fairly good with them they usually like me loads. From canines and cats, to bugs and frogs and birds and cows. I tutored children at school, babysat for a lot of beautiful households, volunteered at camps for youths each summer time since I used to be eleven, and I even spent half of my grade eleven yr in a grade one classroom as a lecturers assistant, serving to the youngsters discover ways to learn. Now, I work half time as a dance instructor, which I believe is probably the most fulfilling work. I get to look at the identical children develop and be taught and progress through the years. I’m so fortunate and grateful to be somebody my dancers can belief and open up to as a mentor all through their rising years.
After I was little (and even now to be trustworthy), I awoke each morning with an urge to make and draw, construct, paint, assemble, and invent. I made little homes out of paper, dioramas with cardboard containers and greenback retailer collectible figurines, blankets out of scrap items of material, wallets out of Kool-Support jammer packages and I bought them for {dollars} to children at college. I used to be a hustler since a younger age! (I used to be VERY insistent with my Swear Jar Guidelines- 25¢ per swear, besides the F bomb and the C bomb have been $1. If mine and my brother’s younger ears needed to hear it, I demanded compensation.) I beloved to sing and dance and carry out. I used to be engaged in theatre because the age of six, as I discuss extra in my ebook. I journaled typically and expressed myself by artistic means. I drew, though I used to be by no means all that good at it.
3. What have been some challenges you skilled as a baby with socializing and the way did you adapt to those challenges?
I believe in regard to social challenges, I wasn’t given sufficient consideration as a baby from my caregivers and had a tough time feeling protected in any setting, which result in fixed excessive
nervousness. A few of the nervousness might have been relieved in an setting the place my nervous system felt protected, however sadly that’s a part of my incapacity; it’s SO HARD for my nervous system to really feel protected, for me to entry my larger considering mind, and get out of battle/flight/freeze survival mind.
It’s bizarre whenever you’re pressured and suicidal as a child. Most different children can’t relate to you more often than not, and those that do by no means talked about it after I was rising up. That’s altering. I didn’t know what a wholesome relationship with others appeared like and it was a very long time earlier than I discovered individuals who really appreciated and embraced me and beloved me. (Which solely got here after I began being true to myself.) I wasn’t just like the others, and I didn’t need to be extra like them, as a result of they have been boring in comparison with what I had happening. I believe if I had extra neurodivergent buddies, and at a younger age recognized we have been neurodivergent that will’ve made for simpler friendships.
4. What have been the circumstances resulting in your autism prognosis?
I accepted defeat to my depressing, annoying life and I attempted to kill myself. I did a couple of instances, however I all the time ended up choosing up the items myself afterward. It simply bought tremendous severe and I couldn’t take it- feeling helpless. That actually bought my physician’s consideration after I advised him, and he sprang into gear getting me a referral to a baby psychiatrist.
I used to be suicidal since I used to be a younger woman and had spoken with my physician dozens of instances about my psychological well being, but it surely wasn’t till I really made lively steps in the direction of suicide that
something was completed. Which was not okay and never honest. I spoke to the psychiatrist months later and was recognized there. For extra on my prognosis course of and what the physician mentioned, you’ll find a complete CHAPTER on it in my new ebook However Everybody Feels This Means: How An Autism Analysis Saved My Life.
5. How has an autism prognosis as an grownup remodel your life for the higher?
With an autism prognosis and being an grownup, I do know that I can transfer ahead with my life in another way than how I used to be raised, accommodating myself and taking good care of myself and loving myself. I do know who I’m and what I would like and I don’t deny that for myself. I care for myself like I deserved to have been taken care of all my life, which is an influence you get solely from surviving childhood and viewing it on the skin as an grownup.
I really don’t suppose I might be alive if I didn’t have my autism prognosis. I didn’t plan to make it to maturity, as a result of I didn’t see it getting any higher. Even when life did get higher, it was SO HARD on the time, that it barely even mattered. My autism prognosis was hope. Lastly, I noticed a model of me who was older than me. I imagined what she appeared like and what she did and who she beloved, and I knew it may very well be doable.
6. I name my sensory points my “honey badger” moments, do you’ve gotten any sensory points? In that case what are they and the way do you stop sensory overloads?
Completely. I’ve tons. I believe it could be not possible to checklist all of them, and I’m certain there are heaps I’ve that I don’t even know of but. First, I’ll discuss stopping overloads.
Take frequent breaks. I attempt to take as many breaks as I would like and alter my setting nevertheless I would like. Generally I’m simply irritated and indignant, and I cease what I’m doing and take note of my physique: what’s the issue? Oh, my hair is touching my again, there are too many sounds occurring without delay, my fingers and toes are freezing and I haven’t gone to the lavatory in 8 hours. Then I’ll care for myself and alter what’s happening; I’ll put my hair up, possibly put music on or earplugs in or go away altogether, I’ll eat some meals and transfer round and put a sweater on, and go to the lavatory.
I attempt to set myself up for achievement by anticipating what would trouble me and altering it into one thing that wouldn’t trouble me or would trouble me much less. Sound- noise. Automobiles driving by. Clanging dishes. Scraping dishes. The furnace. The fridge. The folks speaking. The birds. It’s all an excessive amount of. I’ve earplugs and headphones all the time to vary my noise setting.
Tactile, I solely put on garments that I can simply, comfortably and flexibly transfer round in with out restriction and with out it transferring round on my physique. I don’t like some materials, like velvet, sequins, cotton or wool. I don’t like issues touching my neck. Being moist. Individuals touching me. I don’t like seams, bras, being barefoot, footwear, hats, masks, washing dishes and showering.
When I’m sick, I really feel like I might flip into The Hulk at any second when I’m not distracted (sleeping) from how uncomfortable my physique feels. The lack of nostril utilization has me kicking and punching the mattress, it’s so uncomfortable and insufferable. The achy muscle tissue, the snot in your face from blowing your nostril and the rash you get below your nostril from blowing it a lot, the tiredness and lack of ability to partake in your every day duties, the best way you odor and may’t even rise up, how one can’t eat your meals you need… being sick is terrible. I hate it.
I’m very delicate with meals and typically can’t even get myself to abdomen one thing. Meals is troublesome. I attempt to have protected meals all the time stocked or shut by, and I usually have one protected meals per restaurant, simply in case, so I’m protected wherever we go. (Small city issues.)
7. What are the three belongings you like finest about being autistic?
1. My reminiscence. Most questions folks have are the random issues I made a decision to pay attention to and memorize. I’ve so many helpful info (and ineffective but in addition attention-grabbing.)
2. My means to attach the dots and discover the patterns. It baffles me what folks discover shocking as a result of when folks aren’t altering the sample, they’re tremendous predictable.
3. My ardour. Nobody works more durable than me at one thing I really like.
8. What recommendation would you give to a younger autistic grownup battling employment?
Ya man, I’m sorry. Employment is difficult. Most autistic folks aren’t employed. It’s troublesome as a result of I don’t need to essentially give recommendation to assist adhere to the system we have now now, trigger the system we have now now isn’t honest and isn’t sustainable (and even barely relevant) to autistic folks. It’s powerful out right here and lots of jobs aren’t appropriate for us. It’s going to be completely different for everybody; however personally the very best factor for me was to start out my very own enterprise, make my very own guidelines and do what I need day by day. I like to recommend another person serving to with all the books and the group and the order of all of it, however that is the place I’ve discovered probably the most success and achievement with work.
Observe your ardour. There are such a lot of bizarre trades on the market, you don’t even know. And so they’re cool and require barely any education and may positively get you by. It will depend on what’s accessible to every individual, however if you wish to be employed I like to recommend doing a commerce in an setting that you simply like!
9. What challenges have you ever skilled in courting? And what three courting ideas would you share with younger adults on the spectrum?
I’ve all the time had a difficulty with folks considering I’m flirting with them after I’m actually not attempting to be. I’ve had concern with folks liking me for the way I look however not for who I’m, and truly disliking who I’m. I believe these are additionally the unlucky penalties of being a lady at present, and the autism simply exacerbated the extent of the variations. I used to be with some fairly scummy individuals who simply manipulated me.
1. Be your self, and in the event that they don’t such as you for who you might be, transfer on and discover who does. You might be loveable as you might be.
2. Watch out. Some individuals are gonna know you’re susceptible and need to make the most of that. Don’t go away your self with no method out, lookup on wholesome boundaries and emotional maturity so you realize what to look out for, and belief your intestine.
3. You must preserve transferring ahead and give attention to your self, not your ex. Be grateful for what that relationship taught you, and transfer on. I do know lots of autistic folks can battle with limerence so I simply wished so as to add this one in there too.
10. What are some cool qualities folks with autism can deliver to the office?
1. Very more likely to observe all the foundations by the ebook, flawlessly each time
2. Actually pushed to performing that job, or finishing that job, and method much less distracted by socializing doing so.
3. Actually good at discovering patterns! Determining what’s unsuitable, seeing why one thing hasn’t been working, viewing an issue in an entire completely different perspective
4. Unmatchable ardour.
5. Innovation! At all times attempting to make it work quicker, simpler, extra effectively.
11. Share a humorous story out of your life?
Talking of the Swear Jar,
I used to be very persistent with it as I used to be taught swearing was unsuitable, and I felt it was unsuitable to swear in entrance of a child, so every time an grownup swore in my house in my presence I introduced out the jar and pushed for his or her cash. They ALWAYS ended up paying me. Or possibly my mother simply gave me no matter I used to be owed on the finish. (After all I saved a complete, per individual.) It was Christmas and an uncle of mine was coming to our house for dinner. We hadn’t seen him shortly and have been very excited. I excitedly held my Swear Jar, able to catch him and make some financial institution, as a result of this uncle was a potty mouth. Properly, he got here within the door that night time, sat down on the desk, handed me a $20 invoice and mentioned “That covers me for tonight.” I took the invoice and with a smile mentioned, “Sure, it does!” Then I satisfied the opposite adults to do the identical so I wouldn’t trouble them if I heard them swear, too (as I used to be VERY annoying within the perspective of an grownup.) That’s the night time my swear jar and my household made me $200 bucks.
12. Who’re a few of your favourite autistic advocates?
A few of my favourite autistic advocates are Ellie Middleton, Chloe Hayden, Daniel Jones, Morgan Foley, Nicole Parish, Kaelynn Partlow and Sweet Courn.
13. What impressed you to put in writing However Everybody Feels This Means: How an Autism Analysis Saved My Life?
I’ve had a pen and paper on me since I can keep in mind, which is fairly far. I’ve been writing my experiences out for myself all these years, and it wasn’t till my social media channels gained recognition that I believed others may profit from listening to about this expertise.
I get the identical questions over and over, questions I’ve answered OVER and OVER once more, however they’re misplaced within the sea of movies I’ve created. I wished one full, stable unit of data that contained what l thought was my most vital info that may very well be used as a useful resource. It was one other step to reaching extra folks and making my story accessible to assist folks. Even when it’s only one individual. That one individual might’ve been me.
14. Reflecting upon your life whereas writing your ebook, what classes did you be taught?
I realized that my childhood was really sadder than I believed it was and the emotional neglect I obtained in my childhood exacerbated my tougher autism traits, and I might have had a neater time with life if I had realized about feelings and emotional regulation. I realized that studying books is like trying into the minds of different folks and their lives and experiences, and that’s what data is, and that’s what being human is all about.
15. Are you planning a ebook tour? What are some locations you’ll love to talk?
Undetermined, however very open to it! I might love to talk throughout Canada and the US, in addition to in every single place within the UK! Ideally, the ebook can be picked up by different publishing firms in different nations (I’m speaking to you particularly Australia) and in different languages as nicely, and I’d wish to make it to these locations. There’s a larger focus of my followers in Chicago, New York Metropolis, Toronto, Brisbane, Sydney, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles and Melbourne, so I’d wish to hit these cities for certain!
16. You may have 2.7 million followers on Tik Tok, how did you construct your social media platform?
I don’t even know! I didn’t imply to. It was all very quick. I simply spoke and posted typically and out of nowhere, a few of them bought fashionable. That’s the troublesome factor with TikTok you may’t actually predict what’s going to explode. The algorithm is in every single place and it isn’t constant. It feels just like the lottery. TikTok gives no financial worth to me, so I made a decision to make longer movies and submit them to YouTube. I shout out my YouTube on TikTok as a result of watching these movies is free for others, useful, and supporting me. I don’t fear about rising my platform and getting greater, as a result of folks figuring out me really is frightening to me. I simply submit what I need, now, which modifications day by day, as I do.
17. What are some methods you’ve gotten used your social media to advocate for the autism neighborhood?
I began advocating for autism on TikTok, and I’ve been making movies on there and YouTube for 4 years now. I discuss my experiences, my ideas and emotions, patterns that I can acknowledge and questions I’ve. My tone ranges from humorous to severe, to indignant to goofy, however what stays the identical is my ardour to get my message throughout and dedication to understanding extra about autistic folks.
18. Do you’ve gotten any pets or emotional help pets?
Sure! I’ve 4 pets; 2 canines and a couple of cats. My canines are named Macey (German Shepherd) and Medusa (Noodle) (Newfoundland Poodle). The cats are Mikado and Marlin. Names are not possible to slim down, so I’ve a rule that helps me be capable of identify my animal. Macey skilled as a service canine for nearly a yr, but it surely was simply not suited to her excessive vitality and athleticism. It’s okay, ‘trigger she’s an excellent woman. They’re all beautiful and make me really feel like life is vital.
19. What are some present undertaking you might be engaged on?
Presently I’m engaged on publicity for my new ebook, so I’ll be round, hopefully, doing talks and interviews and internet hosting meet and greets. Then later this yr, I’m really going to be filming a film! I can’t share an excessive amount of about it (and I haven’t mentioned ANYTHING to my socials or something in any respect), however all I can say is it’s filming in 2024 and its going to be superior, and I’ve lots of memorizing to do! Phrases can’t describe how thrilled I’m to be engaged on it, and I have to go away you patiently a ready to listen to extra info.
20. How can folks attain out to you for a talking or ebook signing occasion?
In regard to something ebook associated, one can attain out to my publicity supervisor, Lauren lauren.rosenthal@hbgusa.com. For different inquiries reminiscent of social media sponsorships and speech alternatives, contact mgmt@paigelayle.ca.
Paige Layle Biography
Identified with Autism Spectrum Dysfunction on the age of 15, Paige Layle is an advocate and influencer for a greater understanding of autism on social media. Paige started making movies in response to a degrading submit about autistic folks, initially making a 4 half sequence to deal with frequent misconceptions about autism. Now in her twenties, Paige is an autism acceptance activist on YouTube and TikTok and has 2.7 million followers on TikTok. Paige additionally works part-time as a dance instructor and shares her house in Kawartha Lakes, Canada together with her canines, Macey and Medusa and cats, Mikado and Marlin.
She narrated the Audible Authentic American Woman by Wendy Walker, “an prompt #1 Audible bestseller.”
Amazon Ebook Hyperlink to However Each Feels This Means: How an Autism Analysis Saved
My Life: https://www.amazon.com/However-Everybody-Feels-This-Means/dp/0306831252
TitTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigelayle?lang=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@realpaigelayle
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paigelayle/?hl=en
Paige Prime TitTok Movies:
Room Service: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcVKMU/
Autism in Ladies: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcCLFj/
Actually Scorching: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMRcsVej/
Ron Sandison works full time within the medical discipline and is a professor of theology at Future College of Ministry. He’s an advisory board member of Autism Society Religion Initiative of Autism Society of America. Sandison has a Grasp of Divinity from Oral Roberts College and is the writer of A Mum or dad’s Information to Autism: Sensible Recommendation. Biblical Knowledge, printed by Charisma Home and Thought, Alternative, Motion. Ron has memorized over 10,000 Scriptures together with 22 full books of the New Testomony and over 5,000 quotes. Ron’s third ebook Views from the Spectrum was launched in Might 2021.
Ron often visitor speaks at schools, conferences, autism facilities, and church buildings. Ron and his spouse, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with a child daughter, Makayla Marie born on March 20, 2016.
You possibly can contact Ron at his web site www.spectruminclusion.com or e-mail him at sandison456@hotmail.com
