On the subject of relationships, Enneagram Eights are sometimes misunderstood. Identified for his or her energy, independence, and generally intimidating exterior, what they want on a deeper degree inside intimate relationships could be fairly stunning. For those who or your accomplice determine as an Enneagram Eight, understanding these ten essential wants can rework your relationship right into a nurturing, dynamic partnership the place each people really feel valued and understood.
My dad is an Enneagram 8, and one factor I discovered very early on is that outsiders would decide him as being harsh, aggressive, and mean-spirited. But inside he was compassionate, pushed, and protecting. He simply didn’t beat across the bush and he had completely zero persistence for manipulation or phony conduct. He was blunt, in-charge, and a little bit of a workaholic. I noticed many various sides to him and discovered that this sort is much more advanced than most individuals notice. Immediately I’m hoping to shine a lightweight on among the nuances of this sort and offer you some methods to essentially admire and look after the “Challenger” in a relationship.
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An Intro to the Enneagram 8:
Earlier than we get forward of ourselves, let’s shortly meet the Eight. These Enneatypes, typically categorized because the Challengers, are assertive, strong-willed, and self-confident people who search to defend their independence and shield these of their interior circle. They need to be accountable for their very own lives and to have an effect on the world round them. The very last thing they need is to be thought-about weak, a pushover, or simply manipulated. Eights possess an innate energy that permits them to tackle challenges head-on, typically making them pure leaders.
Well-known Enneagram Eights embrace Winston Churchill, Frank Sinatra, Aretha Franklin, and Ernest Hemingway.
Strengths: One of many notable strengths of an Enneagram Eight is their outstanding capacity to steer and encourage others. They exude confidence and decisiveness, which may rally folks to their trigger. Their candidness and willingness to confront injustice head-on make them highly effective advocates for change. On prime of that, Eights are extremely resilient, capable of stand up to adversity with out shedding their willpower to succeed.
Weaknesses: Sadly, their strengths also can function weaknesses. Their want for management and concern of vulnerability can generally manifest as stubbornness and a reluctance to indicate their softer, extra susceptible facet. This may result in conflicts in relationships, the place companions could really feel sidelined by the Eight’s dominant nature. Moreover, their intense exterior can generally intimidate others, hindering open and trustworthy communication.
Core Wishes: The core want of an Enneagram Eight is to guard themselves from being managed or harmed by others. This stems from a deep-seated want to keep up autonomy and management over their future, driving their assertiveness and independence.
Core Fears: Conversely, their core concern is of being susceptible or on the mercy of others. This concern typically underpins their actions and reactions, pushing them to construct a formidable exterior to defend their extra delicate interior selves. Eights dread exhibiting weak spot, equating it with a lack of management and respect, which drives their want to look robust and unassailable always.
1. Sensible Assist
Eights worth practicality and a wholesome dose of dedication. Whereas phrases of encouragement are appreciated, they resonate extra with actions that show love and help. Whether or not it’s serving to out with family chores or being there for them throughout difficult occasions, sensible help speaks volumes to an Eight.
2. Freedom to Take Motion
Eights are pure leaders who thrive after they have the autonomy to make choices and take motion. In relationships, they search companions who perceive this want and don’t really feel threatened by their assertiveness or independence. In addition they admire individuals who take motion to dwell in accordance their very own values and targets.
3. Unwavering Loyalty
For Eights, loyalty is deeply transferring. They are typically a bit skeptical of individuals, and have fears of being betrayed or managed. They should know that their accomplice is of their nook, by way of thick and skinny, even when at occasions they don’t all the time agree.
4. A Sense of Enjoyable
Regardless of their robust exterior, Eights have a playful facet and revel in letting unfastened. Each Eight I do know has a secret thrill-seeking facet that may present up in a wide range of methods; enterprise ventures, sports activities, journey, even technique board gaming. With the ability to giggle, discover, and expertise the depth of all life has to supply is a large want for the Eight Enneatype.
5. Affection
Eights may not all the time present it, however they crave affection and tenderness. That is very true with romantic companions. They need somebody who can affirm them, present appreciation for his or her efforts, and provides a superb tight hug as typically as doable.
6. Appreciation for Their Efforts
Eights are sometimes the spine of their relationships, offering energy and safety. However generally all that folks discover is there brusque exterior or their bluntness. However for those who look beneath the robust outer shell, Eights typically sacrifice rather a lot to guard and maintain different folks. Acknowledgment and appreciation that you just see them and their sacrifices is essential.
7. Honesty and Directness
Eights have little persistence for thoughts video games or subtleties. They respect direct communication and honesty, even when the reality is tough to listen to. This straightforwardness makes them really feel belief, connection, and saves them from having to spend power making an attempt to learn between-the-lines or interpret passive-aggressive conduct (one thing they completely can’t stand!).
8. Independence and Autonomy
Whereas Eights search for depth and intimacy, additionally they want private house. They hate being micro-managed, managed, or manipulated. They need their very own house to pursue their pursuits and get just a little quiet time every day. In addition they want freedom to make some impartial choices and communicate their thoughts. That stated, let an Eight know in the event that they’ve stated or performed one thing that harm you – they are going to admire the honesty and, in the event that they’re at a wholesome degree, they’ll shortly study from their errors.
9. Empathy
Beneath their robust exterior, Eights have a susceptible facet that they hardly ever present. They want a accomplice who can gently encourage them to open up and share their deeper emotions, providing empathy and understanding quite than judgment.
10. Braveness
Eights respect energy—each bodily and emotional. They don’t want a accomplice who is rather like them, however they do admire somebody who has the braveness to face up for what they imagine in, keep energetic, and be trustworthy quite than a pushover. They admire companions who stand their floor and communicate their thoughts, even when these folks’s opinions are wildly completely different from their very own.
What Do You Suppose?
Are you an Eight with insights to share about sustaining steadiness and authenticity in your relationships? Or maybe you’ve shut connections with an Eight and have discovered useful classes on navigating the complexities of your bond. Whether or not it’s methods for efficient communication, tales of non-public progress, or suggestions for nurturing the distinctive wants of an Eight, we invite you to share your ideas and experiences. Your contributions can enlighten others on the trail to deeper, extra fulfilling relationships with this dynamic and highly effective character kind.
References:
The Enneagram, Relationships and Intimacy by David Daniels, M.D. and Suzanne Dion (2018, David Daniels, M.D.)
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